I think I might’ve finally gotten a grip on things.  Last night and today have gone really well.  I’ve eaten clean and had a great workout this morning.  I had one stupid accident letting the weight bar fall on my good leg, but I worked through it.  I have a huge bruise now but I’m not gonna let it give me an excuse to fall off the wagon again.  I can’t believe that I’ve let myself gain 20 pounds in the last 6 months.  I feel like a failure.  Hopefully I will be able to keep the momentum going and lose the 20 I gained plus the last 15-20 that I had to go before.  Why does this have to be so hard?  Why couldn’t I have the metabolism that so many others have?  It’s so frustrating.  But I guess those are the cards I was dealt and I better figure out a way to deal with it.  I have so much to be thankful for that I shouldn’t complain at all.  I’m way healthier than many others my age.  My husband loves me no matter my size.  I have a very loving son and family.  I have Bevo and Boomer.  I have a Savior that shows me mercy every single day.  Okay, life is great!  Pity party over.